The Absurd Anti-Monogamy Argument (Now With 50% More Grace)

I chose teeth over soul in my moments of fear.


Okay, I outted myself last post as clearly prejudiced against weaponized entitlement.

Instead of using sarcasm (which is a fear-based defense mechanism) to attack an argument I feel is absurd, I could have attempted to see the people behind the argument with compassion.

But honesty without props about deeply held beliefs takes courage. And courage is something we all have to gather every single time we need it.

I don’t have to get into the details about my personal life (which I have decided not to blog about here) in order to be honest about my hooks. All I had to write was this: full disclosure, its easy for me to poke holes in the absurd argument against monogamy (specifically founded in the philosophy that Noel Biderman propagates) because I’ve thought about it before.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that wanting to be “committed” (publicly) to one person while also wanting to philander without believing that it’s acceptable for your spouse to have intimate experiences outside of your commitment comes from a place of entitlement.

As I admitted in a previous post, I find it difficult to compassionately view those who choose to be hateful toward people because of something that cannot be changed.

But here I am, being sarcastic about choices that other people make. I was unable in that moment to feel compassionate toward those who sell this philosophy.

In my need to protect myself, I chose to put my needs before those who choose to weaponize their entitlement by living life in a way that is destructive to those they love. And I chose to do this in a way that was not compassionate.

I chose teeth over soul in my moments of fear.

When I take a step back and observe the argument from a different perspective, I can clearly see that this philosophy is one that has been handed down from generation to generation to generation in one form or another.

And I fully understand that breaking free of beliefs and attitudes that have been taught and role modeled takes insight, energy, courage, and a willingness to stand out against status quo as we know it.

I just forgot in a moment of being hooked by what I see as brazen and unapologetic entitlement.

So, I apologize to Noel Biderman and those who subscribe to and propagate this philandering philosophy. I apologize for the sarcasm. For not being able, in the moment, to see the people behind the beliefs through eyes of compassion.

At the same time, I stand by my own belief that the argument itself is absolutely absurd.

I’ve reminded myself that courage can be called upon over and over. It’s not going to fail me today because I couldn’t find it yesterday.

Author: tendrilwise

Hi, I have a diploma in Journalism, I've published a novel, and I am currently studying psychology. My odd way of viewing the world either gets me kicked out of parties or invited to them. Jenn McKay

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