in the era of the unrelationship 

open wide or don’t whatever

Advertisements

fuck around break my heart

hey, boy, you look like you could love me/murder any lit hope that i could be loved irl

in spiritual truth he cannot do anything to harm <i>me<\i>

not on purpose, not really but kind of with purpose i guess

because fuck around break my heart why not when the other way left me just as shaky and useless

and this way made me feel alive more alive than i had in i won’t even say how many years, alive just for a minute

and the greatest poets even the ones who didn’t have the constitution to live their philosophies irl all say that feeling alive even for a second is why we’re all here

all of us – you me that guy over there who’s sure he doesn’t “get” nature the mean ones the nasty ones the vicious ones the evil ones that rabbit stepping on my begonias

yea though i walk through the damp freeze of the valley of death i fear no evil because God’s screaming I GOT YOU GIRL like a bedtime story like a mantra like a nightlight in the bathroom after walking through the black night hall

fuck around break my heart check off a whole section on my bucket list i didn’t even know existed

here’s the perfect opportunity to see if i can do what they did with broken hearts

look at me being mean

look at me standing up for myself

look at me bouncing their mean right back to them

all of them

yea

shaky at first waves probably didn’t feel like anything but oh i’ve been here before quite a long time ago and it’s why i don’t bounce anything back anymore

it’s why i tonglen

how i can be so aware of the underlying principles of interconnectedness

the ones who hurt the most cannot stand the pain they push it out and it has to go somewhere

the dog the employee the spouse the children

overt covert it doesn’t matter it’s all fear hate is the worst

envy of a thing accomplished that’s not even an accomplishment

envy of a soul which reflects a soul or there wouldn’t be envy in that heart

oh the irony

the way we used to live the way we used to think it was okay to be so openly condescending to the people we ‘love’

where I came from, you cannot just send that energy back because it will find its way back with greater speed and velocity

with greater purpose

yea though i

but that whole theory is based in fear and when i slip the me entirely out of the equation i see the bigger picture even if i don’t recognize it at first

it’s not about me it was never about me

a drop of water in the ocean

fuck around break my heart can I do the things he did to me never even a question of mine, but can I do the things she did to me no no no not even close so I win right – right?

but i cannot tonglen fast enough with so many haters i am sorry haters i tried

the Truth shall prevail

here is me with a broken heart some days not even willing to peek out of my cocoon

here is me tied in knots never having seen an unbroken heart

have you seen an unbroken heart asking for a friend

the unbreaking of a heart will be the next story that I write myself into but i’m lost as to where to begin

i guess i will start where i always start – with this amethyst pencil

I GOT YOU GIRL like a bedtime story like a mantra like a nightlight in the bathroom after walking through the black night hall

Author: tendrilwise

Hi, I have a diploma in Journalism, I've published a novel, and I am currently studying psychology. My odd way of viewing the world either gets me kicked out of parties or invited to them. Jenn McKay

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s