i’m sorry i fear trees

maybe we can only fail ourselves


The forest has betrayed me.

And it hurts because I wept on that mossy floor.

So this is why I have been stuffing sadness with cigarettes and sandwiches.

Just this morning, three geese flew overhead and my breath didn’t catch in my chest.

Go ahead and go, I thought. How do I know if they are true geese, anyway?

I can’t. Not now.

And the trees still want me to give them my secrets.

I won’t. No. Fuck those trees.

Fuck every last bitter rooted tree too afraid to soak in the pure light that comes to them.

This must be the way, because I just heard O Holy Night.

And I’m sorry to the future trees who I will meet.

I’m sorry for the patience I will require.

I’m sorry for asking you to hand me only bottles that have been unopened.

And I’m sorry it will take me a while to feel comfortable curling up on another moss floor.

And I’m sorry, Cecelia, for all that I have tried to give but failed with this weary opening and closing heart.

Author: tendrilwise

Hi, I have a diploma in Journalism, I've published a novel, and I am currently studying psychology. My odd way of viewing the world either gets me kicked out of parties or invited to them. Jenn McKay

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