midnight sun

you shine divine light on me
and I’m grateful
inside the box is accumulative
there is no better way
to spend an evening
than sitting in the sun
sharing ice cream
soon it will be our birthday
and i will take off my shoes
we will dance barefoot
on the nutrient-dense soil
soon there will be no more night
and i will sleep curled against your chest
your arms wrapped around me
i will say, i miss you
and you won’t blink
because it will be an inside joke
coming from our shared history

this poem is not a love story yet

day 8 maybe
shifts like Windows restore
the only thing that brings peace
is writing love stories
part of me has stopped screaming
nobody noticed a difference
living in hell seems like a choice
when i know the future will be great
so i curl up there
when the guards are distracted
they can’t split focus too far
the nerves along their spine just as jumpy
though violence has visited me
i’ve never thought of myself as violent
starting to believe this box is here for my own good
confusing purpose with one man’s perspective
but i don’t always know what’s best
that’s up to God
and when i feel connected that works
i’m looking for a way to hack off my limb
that’s why i’m stuck here
no, i’d need to hack off more
metaphysical 911 operator can you hear me
hello
i can’t hear you
can you hear me
i’m here
can you see me
i don’t know where here is
i’m sorry
i know you can’t hear me
but please tell my future husband i love him
i know he can’t reach me
but he’s with me
in a parallel universe
which isn’t that far away
one day i’ll get to tell him
what i used to think a multiverse looked like
it’s a funny story
because i’ve already told him
oh, lavender hot cloths
to soothe the neck

why eyes

bare knuckle boxing in flip flops
suit up grab your towel, beauty
headed to the beach for a first date
as the history channel plays
terrified of slipping, clipping my date
making a face at a thought that isn’t about him
need a man who can see how i do
only grounded
how the fuck do we ground falling in love
ask again
ask louder
don’t stop asking
i’ll get the mugs
you choose your tea
meet me in my dreams
so you know what’s coming
i’m transparent
i’m a real one
surrounded by forgeries
slip through the cracks
follow the light
for you, i’m a lighthouse
learning to trust that moths can’t get too close