Compassion Is A Free Will Choice

stream of conscious thoughts about the class war

Why haven’t we called this what it is yet?

We’re in the middle of a class war.

Are we all too hooked by our personal sorrows that we can’t see the bigger picture, and therefore the path to healing?

Yes. My opinion is yes.

The simplest way to describe this clash is haves vs have nots.

This clash is causing serious suffering and it’s time to rise up together.

Not together as in within the groups we feel comfortable identifying with – not together as women, LGBTQ, indigenous people, people of colour, people with mental illness, disabilities, low income, immigration status, or any other group of people who are currently being oppressed in some way.

It’s not a war against each other. It’s not a competition to see who has the most suffering.

All suffering is equal.

Each one of us struggles with a poverty of sorts. There is poverty of finances, power, equality, privilege, respect, understanding, self-love, resources and many other poverties.

While we fight over who has the most pain, the elitists are winning.

The people who are currently in power running the show don’t want you to know one simple thing:

We are stronger together. Always.

We have more power than they want us to realize.

But we need to feel like we have enough in order to give to others. Especially to those we don’t identify with, those we justify ignoring by seeing them as being separate from us.

The more we fight against, the more energy we waste, and the more we affirm our scarcity.

If we felt like we had enough, we would not be fighting, there would be nothing to fight, no struggle.

But there is a struggle. We’re all struggling. And rather than focusing on our similarities, we have been focusing on our differences.

When we focus on what makes us different, we focus on the principle of division.

Do we want to be divided? Do we want to stay pieced out in our separate very small (comparatively) groups fighting for the same thing using different language but only fighting for one group?

If we want to get through this and make a difference bigger and better than we can individually imagine, we need to start working together. Not against such other.

And the place to start is by seeing, understanding, acknowledging, and making and holding respectful space for everyone who is struggling with poverty of some kind.

I’m spinning my wheels because we’re all spinning our wheels. The universe is within me, as it is within you.

This movement will bring traction.

It starts small. Take one step to show the universe that you accept that our suffering is equal.

It doesn’t have to start with believing this about everyone.

Take a look at your neighbour who is struggling to get around in her walker this heavy-snow winter.

Take a look at your co-worker who struggles to pay the hydro as a single mom, while you eat lobster every Saturday.

Take a look at your sister who struggles to get out of bed because she’s fighting depression.

Do one thing today to really break open perception, to accept another’s difference as no better or worse than your difference.

It might just be what we need.

How I Walked Through My Fears of Trump as President 

That gentle voice within saying it will be okay is real

Here are some things that I’m grateful for in my uncertainty about the future:

Walking unaccompanied on an early November evening in light rain conspicuous in my femaleness

Having pretty unlimited access to luxuries like chocolate and organic grapes and fresh water

Being able to voice my opinions under my name using my actual face without fear that I will be jailed or tortured or followed home and raped

Living in a society which allows each individual to have beliefs about themselves, which directly impacts their beliefs about others, and honours universal law

Having a place to go for free where I can get relatively uncensored access to the information that is available

The knowledge that I create my own experience

My faith that love is stronger than fear

My faith that choosing peace and being a role model of lovingkindness in action to all of my fellow humans makes a difference – a real difference – each time I make that choice

The realization that no matter how many times I have scorned myself for fucking up and giving into fear, it was just taking away one single moment, one single action, one single thought of compassion and love

The freedom to choose what I eat and where, limited only by my financial means and past patterns when unchecked

This pen and piece of paper

My heart

My freedom to make choices

You guys, since the USA presidential vote three weeks ago, I have sometimes felt so much fear that my brain starts rolling reels from every fucking WWII movie ever made.

There is so much fear being pumped out right now, but no mainstream broadcast about how the wholehearted and the conscious and the people who choose love over fear every day because of their personal experiences can and will lead us through this.

That the gentle voice inside of you saying that it will be okay is real.

Here’s an example of the fear that has snaked its way through me, and how I have shut it down:

Since we have created a situation (yes, all of us) where the future is a building block, a pristine and beautiful opportunity for authentic change, rather than history repeating itself, the uncertainty of how we will be affected nags at me.

We’ve seen how history worked out under certain rule. But that is over. It does not have to nor will it repeat itself.

Yet, that’s the reel in my head – WWII.

(Never mind the fact that Hitler was very skilled at pretence, and did not run on a platform of hatred.)

Even with this knowledge, my fears fight to be heard.

Now, when I walk by a stranger who is not a white male, I wonder, what can I do to help that person be safe?

Now, when I look at my friends and my family members who are not white males, I think, how far will I have to go to fight?

I ask God, what’s the best way to do this?

And then I look in the mirror.

Shit. I’m a woman. The President-elect of America hates women.

And I go right back to the WWII movies.

My thoughts turn to how I can be a positive, calming role model and leader in an internment situation.

Will my daughter be safest with me or a trusted male?

My fears babble on… I mean, if we are going to be interred, will we also be tortured and murdered?

I get the sense, as a highly sensitive person, that we will not allow it to go as far as murder, and murder isn’t even really on Trump’s agenda, nor was it ever.

That agenda comes from a group that loudly supports him.

But I’m still unsure of walls and I’m not positive that internment won’t be repeated, in my fear.

So, in my nightmares, I have my daughter with me as we are forced to go with the nice man with the gun.

And what if, God forbid, these men – not allowed to kill us, but not held to any moral standard of humanity, if you know what I mean – somehow catch wind of my personal opinions about the definition of true courage?

What if, God forbid, anyone in these hells recognizes my potential for leading a rebellion against the racist, misogynistic agenda that spawned this imagined internment?

Will they even let me in or will they kill me before I arrive?

Should I stop writing online and erase everything in case I need to blend in as regular woman-folk who misogynists see as incapable and therefore non-threatening?

Should I be quiet and play dumb, waiting for the best moment to jump out and yell, Got ya, fuckers!?

No.

Because I know and so do they that if they try to silence me or make an example of me, their actions will give undeniable credibility to my beliefs.

As soon as they give credibility to my beliefs, it makes it real in the mind of others, and they will have a full fledged revolt on their hands.

Electoral college or not, the popular vote went against racism and misogyny and hatred.

There are more of us then there are of them.

And in spiritual truth, there is no’us’ and no ‘them’. We are all one.

And all of my fears fall out.

The sneaky hidden racism has been outted.

The sneaky hidden misogyny has been outted.

The sneaky hidden homophobia has been outted.

I fully believe that not every human who voted for Trump is racist or misogynistic or homophobic.

I fully believe that many unhateful people marginalized by poverty voted for him despite his racism and other hatred.

I fully believe that these people never once believed that Trump would make good on his rants about building walls and killing women’s rights.

These are the same people who would give me (and you) their last five bucks if they saw me begging on the streets.

I know this in my heart to be true.

These people don’t want to see us harmed. These people will stand up against violence that they know as violence.

These people, along with those who voted against Trump, are good people trying their best to make their way through a system that has left them and their families with little to nothing.

So, I say to my fears, fuck off.

So, I say to the media trying to increase revenue, fuck off.

So, I say to the trolls who want to spread hate in an environment they feel is conducive to hate, hey, you are the minority now and I know that’s terrifying but things have to change.

We’re going to be okay.

The sooner we collectively release the illusion of fear about what might happen and tap into that real core of love and peace, the sooner this will be over.

Oh, universe, you challenge me to find peace within chaos? Challenge accepted.

No person will be left behind.

Each person must take action, and I believe that each person will take action.

Don’t wait to take action against something you believe is wrong.

Take action now by doing one thing to reduce the suffering of any person.

Tell the universe now that you choose love.

We’ve chosen authenticity, and now it’s time to choose love.

Real love has four components:

kindness
compassion
inclusion
joy

Your heart will tell you where to start.

I believe in you. And I love you.

Consent

let’s make it simple

When I ask you to stop pressing my forehead, I expect you to stop.

When witnesses of this exchange see you continue to press my forehead after I say stop, they look at you and say what the fuck is wrong with that guy?

And if you still do not stop, one of those witnesses will speak up.

Hey, man, give her a break. What’s your problem? Calm down, weirdo.

Nobody understands your desire to press my forehead beyond that weird subtly aggressive energy that makes you feel like being annoying and grabbing attention.

These people feel confident they will never be on the other side of this criticism of behaviour. There is no negative ego catch in speaking up.

Even when my no thank you is not respected by you, those who bare witness respect it over and above your desire to annoy.

When I don’t feel like letting you borrow my car and you feel like I don’t have a legit reason, you feel like I’m trying to piss you off,  or that my right to not let you borrow my car is smaller than your right to access my car, you have a few choices:

A. Move on to the next person who might let you borrow a car

B. Try to convince, coerce, manipulate or shame me into changing my no to a yes

  • (Please? Why not? Oh come on! I’ll let you borrow my tablet.
  • I thought you were nicer than that. Everyone will know how selfish you are.
  • Your face will turn green if you don’t let me borrow your car.
  • You’re a selfish bitch, you know that!)

C. Punch me in the face or flatten my tires

The only choice that’s okay is A.

Part of being a human being is having the right to be treated with respect.

Respect includes allowing others to make their own choices about boundaries, regardless of whether it offends your ego.

When my ego is offended, I recognize an issue within myself that needs to be cleared. And I do my personal work. (Hopefully this comes before I react from a place of scarcity.)

Here’s something really important to clear up in this whole consent matter:

Some people have a hard time saying no.

It can come from the way we are raised or pressure to fit in (sideways need for love and acceptance) or fear of criticism or a number of different fears.

These people say no in ways that are not verbal. They make a face that indicates displeasure. They move away. They shift back.

Can you think of other non verbal examples in your own life where it was clear a person did not want to do something? Or wanted something to stop?

Have you seen the face of a child asked to eat broccoli?

Have you seen a kid step away from an impromptu ball game to avoid getting hit?

A man waving his hand over his glass in a restaurant when the waiter asks, ‘refill?’

Arms crossed over a chest.

A head shaking side to side.

And what about ‘mixed signals’? Let’s say we’re at a restaurant and you ask me if I’d like to order the daily special.

Shrugging is not a yes.

Whatever is not a yes.

Maybe is not a yes.

Even if I wore a nice dress to a fancy restaurant where I planned to eat a meal of food, it doesn’t mean I want to order the special.

As far as I’m concerned, when a person who has a hard time speaking up does anything that indicates no or maybe, it’s the responsibility of those who have asked for something to clarify what is meant instead of just going ahead and ordering the special on his or her behalf.

Consent is giving permission. It is important to be clear on what is being asked and what permission has been given.

Do you have permission to press my forehead? No. Never.

And if you get the urge to press my forehead, I suggest that you ask before you do, or you might have to do some personal work to assuage your ego.