you name it

curiosity insatiable somewhere within
borders on obsessive
crossing lines into otherworld
where dark shadows play
(may or may not be mine)
where light hidden in the bellies
of small children doesn’t dare go
ancient light masked as new light
not malice but doubtful
am i really more than skin
can i be more than they say
why would they lie
look through doubt eyes, doubt seas
put on faith eyes, doubt seize
dumbfounded shadows stilted
upon first light
but only once
after that, they see it coming
they inject bones with purple-grey rot
until skull cracks open
insane bluejays peck at fat noodles
God help us if first light is early, early
my curious nature
undermines a faith eroded by violence
infinite curious relegated to shadow
jumping through circus hoops
believing i will get it one day if
and innocent curiosity
becomes the cuffs i despise
anchoring me far from my body
in the mystery of quicksand
while my doubt climbs to the helm
why can’t you get it
what’s wrong with you
you’re not trying hard enough
loser
and my divine comfort meets me
in that state, more reassurance
of not getting it right
locked in hell
after being raised by fear
fear never lets go
it never allows solo flight
and teen birds outgrow the nest
adults sick of pretending
as pecking order makes young lunch
to jump with flaccid wings
suicide
to stay is to be murdered